🤝 Negotiate Like Your Life Depends On It

➡️ EQ > IQ: Your emotional smarts matter more than logic. Did you know that emotional intelligence is behind 58% of job performance across all industries? Voss argues that understanding and managing emotions — both yours and others’ — is crucial in steering negotiations your way. This means being aware of non-verbal cues, tone of voice, and the underlying emotions driving the other party’s behavior.

➡️ The Art of Listening: Here's a mind-blower: top sales performers spend more time listening (57%) than talking (43%). Who knew silence could be so powerful? Voss emphasizes active listening, where you're not just hearing words, but truly understanding the speaker's perspective and motivations. This deep listening allows you to gather crucial information and build rapport.

➡️ Tactical Empathy: Leaders who rock at empathy outperform others by over 40% in things like coaching and decision-making. It's like having a secret influence button. Voss describes tactical empathy as the ability to understand the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and use that knowledge to influence the negotiation. This isn't about being nice — it's about strategic emotional intelligence.

1. It’s better than saying "Yes" or "You're Right": In negotiations, hearing "that's right" is far more valuable than a simple "yes" or "you're right." While "yes" can often be an automatic or insincere response, and "you're right" frequently masks disagreement or frustration, "that's right" signals genuine agreement and understanding. When someone says "that's right," it indicates that you've correctly summarized their position, creating a moment of trust and alignment that's crucial for productive negotiations.

2. How to Trigger a “That’s Right” Moment: Start by listening actively to both the words and emotions of the other party. Then, summarize their position, making sure to include the underlying feelings you've observed. Deliver this summary calmly and confidently, and then wait for their confirmation. This process demonstrates that you've truly heard and understood their perspective, which is key to building rapport and trust.

3. The Impact on Negotiations: Mastering the "that's right" technique can significantly impact your negotiations. It demonstrates deep listening and understanding, making the other person feel heard and validated. This creates a strong foundation for mutual respect and cooperation, opening the door for collaborative problem-solving. Ultimately, when someone confirms your understanding with "that's right," they're more likely to be receptive to your ideas and proposals, potentially leading to more favorable outcomes in your negotiations.

1. Practice Mirroring: In your next three conversations, consciously match the other person’s tone, pace, and body language. Pay attention to how this subtle mimicry affects the rapport and flow of your interaction. Does it make the other person more comfortable or open?

2. Ask Calibrated Questions: Throughout your day, replace any "Why" questions with "What" or "How" questions. For example, instead of "Why did you do that?", ask "What led you to that decision?" Notice how these open-ended questions elicit more informative responses and guide the conversation.

3. Aim for a “That’s Right” Moment: In your next important discussion or mild disagreement, actively listen to the other person's perspective. Then, summarize their position, including the emotions you perceive. Present this summary and see if you can elicit a "That's right" response. Reflect on how this moment of agreement influences the rest of your interaction.